Privilege saved my life yesterday

After receiving a COVID-Booster shot, what was unveiled hours later was unexpected.

My 2nd shot was bad enough but the frustrations of my fever not breaking got to me this time. I felt my usually strong spirit to battle things out dwindle.

I tried distracting myself from the fever, chills, and pain from where I was injected.

A sudden swell of frustration grew rapidly, and before I knew it, I was wailing like a child.

At first, I thought I was crying because of other things in my life and that I had saved up a tank of tears but I guess it was also a way to express my frustrations like a child. I somewhat loved the innocence and comfort it brought later on.

Writing this many hours later feels like a blur and a blessing that I am fairing quite well.

The reason why I'm saying privilege saved me is that I have a phone to call my parents.

Above all that, I have parents I can call. Medical care that I could access quite quickly too. The thoughts I had while I lay in bed sometime in the night seemed so mundane but rang true. 'I have parents who care enough, who have a car to rush me to the hospital with ease, shoulders to lean on when I'm in pain and weak, access to quality medical care and doctors who care...' The thoughts were endless. At that moment, I thought of how many people do not have access to medical care, parents to lean on when times are tough, or the privilege of someone to care just enough for you to get through the night. My heart broke a little at the thought and was reminded of how someone somewhere in this world is too poor to live. The first time I grew to know about this, I thought of it in an abstract way but it hit me so hard at this moment for some reason.

Having the chance to write this seems like a dream especially when all the energy from my bones was drained. Barely standing, being able to sit up or lift my hand was quite scary for me. Things that seem so normal and natural, I could not do, let alone breathe.

It truly is a blessing to be in good health and have the chance to do things naturally.

I have always been grateful for good health but this incident took a different turn.

I was equally plagued by some thoughts of placing other things before my health.

I remembered I had meetings to attend, assignments to do, and emails to reply to.

I lay in bed thinking how sad that was... My habit of caring for other people is good but at this moment, I wondered how I ever winded up here.

The society we live in is so fast-paced from my viewpoint and realized how frustrated I was lying in bed and felt like I was doing nothing.

Friends and loved ones have mentioned this before but I always brush it off and sometimes make a joke out of it. Well, here I was, lying in bed in a room filled with silence and brevity of consciousness. I guess this knocked a wind of sense in my mind.

The purpose of this piece is to remind you to cherish the care, love, and affection you receive. There are so many children, and so many people who do not get to have that in their lives. Sometimes it is refreshing to hit a reset button, pause and think.

I guess that's what this was for me.

Even if you do not think about it every day, I hope that when you take deeper breaths to fill your lungs, you'll remember to say a little thanksgiving prayer. For an appetite to want to eat, a warm bed to sleep in, a place you can call home, access to clean drinking water, education, friends, and family, the list is endless.

It is a privilege to do the everyday tasks you do on a daily basis so naturally.

Thank God from time to time for all the good things you have in your life.

Stay safe and healthy! Nothing but cocoa love,

Sam 🌻