Love isn't love till...

~Part 2

The moments we wonder, "why doesn't love love us back?"

We break because maybe, we gave love a try again and again.

We thought we had the hang of it and understood. Countless books have been written, songs sung, and equally, as many hearts broken.

I know I never realized that you never give what you do not have--

I learned that with love.

I overflowed with consideration for others but forgot myself in the process.

I grew up with the notion that if I gave some form of love to those around me, I would automatically receive the same back.

There was only one problem with my theory--

I was not in the picture as a recipient of love.

Everywhere I looked, love seemed like this construct far removed from reality and could only be fully realized when it was romantic. I could not believe how wrong I was.

I always thought of love as this fuzzy feel-good emotion that anyone could experience.

What I did not know is I had to master the art of loving myself first.

Love is a construct in a digital world where everything is highly superficial.

It was not something I could say I saw in everyday life or society.

Living in a world filled with instant gratification painted a whole other picture.

I thought, "Maybe that is why love does not work. We have high expectations but put in little effort to get a desirable end. We forget ourselves in the process too."

When I think of love today, I do not think of ideally painted scenarios from the internet--

I think vulnerability, laughing till I cry, being myself around them, quality time, friendship, hopes and dreams, heartbreak, personal growth, room for love to grow, etc...

I did not realize that I had to be filled with love to give it.

That's because it comes with respect for another, understanding, patience, and other virtues.

It's like a one-stop shop for all that is good.

Love made more sense when I started looking inward.

I learned how to understand myself and my identity.

I learned how to express myself better through internal dialogue.

I cannot say I am an expert of self-love because I learn something new every other day.

The one thing that I can say helped me is interacting with people filled with it.

You learn to love and give love.

You learn you are lovable and capable of reciprocating the same.

If I already think I am not worthy of love, I will not respond to it when it comes to me.

I will only respond how I know best.

So hey!

Not all hope is lost.

Who knows?

Your journey in self-love and understanding yourself better could inspire somebody to do the same.

Be patient with the process and yourself.

Embrace yourself when things feel too heavy.

Only then can you do the same for the things you love.

Learn how to love yourself and then, love fiercely.

Nothing but cocoa love,

Sam 🌻