Just when I thought I understood.

It is in the moments when you silently take a deep breath. With the faded timeless jazzy tunes subtly comforting you even when you do not know it. Subtly preparing you to allow some reality check to pierce your fragile peaceful walls neatly plastered with toxic positivity.

When the smile you constantly plastered on your face begins to falter.

Deceptively honest reality hits that you cannot accommodate everyone in your little heart.

It is in the moments you gave till you had no more to give.

It is in the moments one forced themselves to feel things they knew they did not feel.

Smiled when you were hurt, laughed when you wanted to cry so bad.

It is in the moments one turns a blind eye and does not listen to the dull roar of their intuition;

it is in the moments that evened the odds.

I applaud you for getting this far. I applaud your vulnerability. You are still human.

Keep being human.

There are days I feel drained because I forced myself to give to the wrong people.

Thought more about other people's well-being.

Thought more about trying and trying harder because effort equates to them liking you back?

-however that works-

I have been a hopeless positivism romantic.

I do not know if you are like me but I am tired.

There were days I genuinely wanted to understand why some women cannot simply sit down and talk things out. To be honest with their feelings and move on.

Why do people stay in relationships -both romantic and friendly- that are toxic?

Why do some adults really think they are all grown up when in reality they are big babies with experience? -no offense-

Why the world is as twisted as it is.

Why do you never get what you give?

Why do people force themselves to be in situations they are not comfortable with.

You know the drill.

I am a really deep thinker and I thought I had to be positive.

Make the vibes vibe. Till one day, my neatly knitted silicone net of positivity unraveled.

-Yes, this is the part you get the happy story-

I find it funny that I engulfed myself in a positivity whirlwind.

I built a sleek concrete road and colored it with nothing but positivity.

I poured and poured. Inhaled and exhaled. Woke up and slept on it.

I forgot about the adverse effects of building things in a hurry and with such little thought.

Everything was perfectly rosy, laced with toxic lies, and oh!

It was nothing short of a fantasy.

I did not realize that I was not trying to conquer my hills.

I was trying so hard to conquer the mountains the world said I should climb.

'Be nice, be positive, be liked because that is what the world likes to see.'

It may sound a little off, but this is what Capitalist societies do.

You should do things that only people like because that is what Capitalism is about anyway.

From advertisements, to how they talk about mental health, to the kind of news they present.

It is much easier to talk about the good more than the bad.

Think about it.

When was the last time you open and honestly talked about how you felt?

When was the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable?

Or acknowledged how you felt, even when you are alone?

I challenge you to do this if you have not, but you have been thinking about it.

I think it is nice to reflect, pause and question.

Allow yourself to heal at your own pace.

This life is shorter than you think it is.

It is too short to live up to people's expectations.

It is also too short to not do what you want to do for yourself.

Spoil yourself, love yourself and do things according to your own terms and conditions.

Dare to be audacious and intent about taking those breaths, those steps, at your pace.

Give yourself space to be human.

Also remember, not everyone is for you.

The number of years you have known them does not matter.

How well they know you, does not matter.

If they are toxic, leave!

Time is overrated by the way.

Be it a friend, a lover, or whatever else people are to each other these days.

What matters the most is their character.

I will probably still keep learning and unlearning as I grow.

It does not matter how much you stumble.

Who knows?!

You could make a viral dance to the sound of you stumbling!

Sending so much love and kindness your way.

-I hope that was a happy story to read 😁🤞🏽-

You cannot be yours and someone else's too before being yours first.

Choose freedom! 🐾 🦥

SM 🌻

Fall seven, stand up eight. Japanese proverb from Kaizen.

From @wetheurban on Instagram.

https://instagram.com/wetheurban?utm_medium=copy_link

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Hello there! ✨☕

Thank you for getting this far! I really really appreciate it. 🥺

I hope you took a message back with you.

Tell a friend to tell a friend, to be themselves because that is their business! ✨

It is easier to free yourself from your mental prison because you can control it.

From how you think, say, and implement. It is all on you.

If you cannot control what is beyond you, walk away.

Waste less of your time, benefit yourself.

🤎 I hope you get to the place you see yourself. 🤎

Keep masking, staying safe, hydrated, and healthy!

Till next time! 💁🏽‍♀️

SM 🌻